


Hung Up In You

by stezton



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: AU, F/F, F/M, Holtzbert Week, Infidelity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2018-12-01 13:08:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11487045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stezton/pseuds/stezton
Summary: Erin Gilbert-Hudson had settled in life and accepted it. It wasn't a terrible life, but one day she met her new neighbor and long repressed feelings awakened again.





	1. New Neighbor

**Author's Note:**

> Story title from the song of the same name by Madder Rose.

Erin Gilbert-Hudson groaned in frustration as she climbed back out of her car and popped the hood. She really didn’t know why she bothered. She knew nothing about the car other than the damned thing wouldn’t start. Her husband, Phil, had already left for work and now she would surely be late for her job. The thought of dealing with a classroom of kindergartners after having car trouble did not sound like a good day.

“Hey!”

Erin looked in the direction of the voice. It was her next door neighbor that had moved in a week before. They hadn’t formerly met, but Erin had noticed the woman coming and going over that time.

“You look like you’re having some trouble,” the blonde said as she crossed the lawn between their houses.

As she approached, Erin took in the woman’s worn combat boots, jeans with many holes and t-shirt that had seen better days. She was a stark contrast to Erin’s blouse, slacks and flats combination.

“Jillian Holtzmann,” the woman said with an outstretched hand when she had reached Erin.

“Erin Gilbert-Hudson.” She shook Jillian’s hand and was momentarily captivated by her blue eyes.

“So what seems to be the trouble?” Jillian turned away and scanned the engine compartment. She looked back at Erin with a toothy, dimpled grin and said, “Don’t worry. I’m a mechanic.”

“That’s convenient,” Erin said with a smile. “It just wouldn’t start.”

“Okay. Let me see.” The blonde walked around and climbed into the driver’s seat. She tried starting the car with the same results. “Well it seems you have a dead battery. I could jump you off but then you would probably get where you’re going and it wouldn’t start again.”

“That would be less than ideal,” Erin murmured.

Jillian thought for a second. “I could give you a ride to the auto parts store and we could find out if this one is thoroughly deceased. If you need a new one, I can put it in for you and you can be on your way.”

Erin was slightly taken aback by the offer. Even though the blonde was a tiny slip of a thing and nonthreatening in the least, she didn’t know this woman at all. Jillian sensed her hesitation.

“I’m not a crazy killer or anything,” she joked with her hands in the air. “I just like helping pretty ladies in distress.”

Erin couldn’t help but blush a little in response. They stared at one another for a minute or two and Erin was starting to wonder if the other woman ever blinked. Her stare was intense but not intimidating most likely because of the faint smile on her lips.

“Sure. What the heck,” Erin heard herself say.

“Awesome! Let me get my tools.”

As she bounded back across to her own house, Erin watched her with an appreciative eye. ‘Definitely cute,’ she thought then shook her head to clear her thoughts. ‘No, no. You’re married now. You gave up on that.’

She was still mentally battling herself when Jillian came back with the necessary tools. “It will be just a minute,” she said as she got to work.

“I’m going to go make a phone call really quick. I need to tell the school I’m going to be late,” Erin said as she fished her cell phone from her purse and Jillian nodded.

By the time she finished her call the mechanic already had the battery out. “Ready to go?” she asked. When Erin nodded, she dropped the hood of the car. “Come on!”

Erin couldn’t help but shake her head with a chuckle. She had never seen someone so excited to give someone a ride to an auto parts store. She followed Jillian into her garage and let out a “Daaaaaamn” at the sports car inside.

“1973 Dodge Challenger,” Jillian said as she opened the passenger door for Erin. “It’s a work in progress.”

“It is still pretty awesome,” Erin said. It was hazard cone orange with black stripes down the side and a black interior.

“Yeah, it is pretty sexy ain’t it?” Jill said with a wink as she dropped into the driver’s seat. Erin got the shock of her life when the blonde leaned across her lap and rolled the window down. This woman apparently had no sense of boundaries. Sitting back up, Jill rolled down her own window. “Unfortunately I don’t have the air working yet.”

During the ride to the store the two women made small talk and got acquainted. Erin talked about her job at the elementary school and Jillian talked about how she worked at home fixing cars. She said one day she wanted an actual business but right now she just used her own driveway.

The auto parts store was a rundown hole in the wall called Zip’s Auto Parts or at least that’s what the faded sign appeared to say. If she had not known, Erin would have thought it was abandoned with its peeling paint, barred windows and wooden front door that was half rotten.

“I know it doesn’t look like much,” Jillian said as she parked, “but Zip’s a good guy. I’ve gotten my parts from him for years.”

When she got out of the car Erin felt eyes on her and looked to her right where three men were leaned over the hood of car that would be more appropriate in a junkyard. Even with Erin staring back at them one looked her up and down blatantly while licking his lips. The second stroked a long beard and smiled while the third creepily stared with a blank expression.

“Don’t give them the time of day,” Jillian said as she came around the Challenger. She took Erin’s hand in hers and tugged her towards the store.

As they came through the door Erin was startled by a scratchy old voice shouting “Holtz!” happily. An elderly man hobbled his way around the counter towards them.

Jillian let go of Erin’s hand, met him halfway and gave him a hug. “Hey Zip. How’s it hanging?”

“Oh I’m still breathing,” Zip replied. “You finished that Challenger yet?”

“She’s not complete, but she’s running.”

“You will have to take me for a spin some time,” Zip said hopefully.

“I don’t know if your heart could handle it.”

Zip laughed heartily until he coughed and Jillian gave him a few pats on the back. When he had got his breath back, he asked, “Okay. So what can I do for you ladies today?”

“Dead battery,” Jill said, holding it up. “Not sure if it’s chargeable or totally kaput.”

“Bring it on back and let’s test it,” Zip said as he turned back towards the counter.

“I’ll be back in a second. Will you be all right here?” Jillian asked Erin who nodded.

“I’ll go sniff air fresheners or something,” she joked.

“Sounds fun,” Jillian called back as she followed Zip.

When they returned a few minutes later Erin was doubled over laughing with tears in her eyes.

“What’s so funny?” the blonde asked with an anticipatory grin on her face as she looked around trying to find what was amusing Erin so much.

Erin pointed out a bumper sticker hanging on a rack. It said ‘I trip over my wiener’ with a picture of a dachshund. Jillian burst out in laughter, too. “It makes me wish I had a dachshund so I could put it on my car!” she choked out between giggles.

After a few minutes of reading comical bumper stickers, Jillian said, “That battery was dead. Zip and I are going to go get the kind you need.”

“All right. I’ll be here,” Erin replied.

Once they were down another aisle Zip leaned over to Jillian and whispered, “So that your new girlfriend? Pretty thing.”

“No, no, no. Just a neighbor,” Jill replied hurriedly.

“She’s totally your type.” He nudged her in the ribs.

“Hush, Cupid.” she chided even if she knew he was right.

=X=X=X=X=X=

An hour later they had returned home and Jillian had installed the new battery.

“You’re good to go,” she said as she dropped the car hood and brushed her hands off on her pants.

“I can’t thank you enough,” Erin said as she beamed at the blonde. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“It was nothing.” Jillian replied bashfully as she scuffed a boot against the driveway.

“Well I’ve got to be going. See ya.”

“See ya.” Jillian answered as Erin got in her car. They waved to each other and once the car was out of sight Jillian whistled merrily as she walked to her house.


	2. On the Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get some insight into Erin and her and Jillian spend some time together.

Erin looked up from her half-eaten spaghetti. She had pushed it around her plate for the last ten minutes, the day’s events running through her head. Her husband Phil sat across from her with his eyes glued to a tablet as he read stock prices. The only sound since they had sat down to eat was the clink of their forks against the plates. 

Sometimes she wondered what other people saw when they said the two of them were such a great couple. They didn’t feel like a couple to her. They were just two people that lived in the same house.

Erin sighed and resumed playing with her spaghetti.

Hearing her sigh Phil asked, “Are you alright over there?” He sounded like he didn’t care, though.

Erin glanced up. He was still staring at his tablet. “I’m fine. I’m just going to go ahead and clean up.” She gathered up her plate, silverware and glass and took them into the kitchen. She deposited them in the sink with another long sigh. The redhead noticed she had been sighing often recently.

Erin felt a familiar heavy weight press on her chest; an unhappiness that literally felt painful. She gripped the edge of the counter and closed her eyes, willed the thoughts to go away but they pushed to the front of her mind like unwelcome guests.

Thoughts of Jillian had popped up throughout the day even as she tried to teach her students their ABCs. Her smile. The wink. The staring. She knew her neighbor was flirting with her and she liked it. 

Erin had always been attracted to women, but nothing ever happened. No women ever approached her and she never approached them. It probably did not help she was shy, awkward and to most people probably appeared to be stereotypically straight. 

Guys had asked her out and it was easy to just go with the flow. Eventually she convinced herself to give up on finding a girlfriend. It just felt like it would never happen and now here she was married for fifteen years. She had thought she would settle into it and it would be fine ultimately. It wasn’t. 

Erin had never been intimate with anyone but Phil so at first she thought maybe sex wasn’t as exciting as people made it out to be. To her it felt like a chore; just another wifely duty. When it was over she felt more hollow than before and usually cried when he left the room. She would end up taking care of her needs later. Alone. Afterwards she physically may have satisfied her body’s craving yet her soul longed for more. 

A nagging voice in the back of her mind would periodically speak up and tell her she had made a mistake by denying her attraction to women. The more she heard it, the more she came to realize it would never fully go away. She was a lesbian pretending to be straight. No amount of acting the role would ever make her straight she had come to realize after a number of years.

Sometimes she would see an attractive woman uptown and think ‘what if’, but they were just passing strangers. Now the newest person to make her think ‘what if’ again was her neighbor, not someone she would probably never see again. 

Tears of frustration began to well up in her eyes when she was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of loud heavy metal music outside. 

“What the hell is that?” Phil muttered with annoyance from the dining room.

Erin looked out the side kitchen window in the direction of the music and saw Jillian headbanging while under the hood of a Volvo. “It’s our new neighbor Jillian,” she told her husband. “I’ll go ask her to turn it down some.” She was excited to have an excuse to go see her. 

Erin made it across the yard and to the blonde’s driveway without being noticed. Only when she turned down the boombox that sat on the concrete did the woman’s head pop out from behind the car with a confused expression. It was quickly replaced with a large smile when she saw her neighbor.

“Oh hey, Erin! Music too loud?” she asked a little sheepishly.

“I thought we had a new neighborhood garage band,” Erin joked and Jillian chuckled. “Mind if I hang out for awhile?”

“Isn’t your husband home?” 

A pained look passed over Erin’s face so rapidly that Jillian almost missed it. Apparently she didn’t want to be at home right now.

“Yes, yes, of course you can hang.” 

Erin’s face lit up in such a way that gave Jillian pause for a moment before she turned back to the car, wrench in hand.

“So what are you working on?” the redhead asked as she leaned on the perpendicular side. 

As the mechanic excitedly explained her current task, something involving exhaust manifolds or whatever, Erin found herself zoning out and just studying the other woman. Her pinned up blonde curls bobbled on her head as she gestured with the wrench. She had the smoothest porcelain skin that Erin just wanted to run her fingers over. It would probably feel like silk. Her eyes next went to Jillian’s lips which were so full and she could imagine they would feel...

Abruptly Erin snapped out of her daydream when she realized Jillian was staring at her curiously. 

“Oh shoot. I’m boring you, I’m sure,” the blonde blurted. She sighed as she ran her hand over the back of her neck. “I can ramble on too much sometimes.”

“No, no. It’s fine,” Erin reassured her as she placed a hand on Jillian’s forearm. “It just kind of went over my head. Total newb here.”

Jill glanced down at Erin’s hand then up at the other woman. They held one another’s gaze for a moment before they broke apart; Erin murmured “Sorry” and Jillian turned back to the car.

In the awkward silence that followed an idea formed in Erin's mind. She cleared her throat and said, “The school year is over next week and I wouldn’t mind learning some things. Summer vacation is usually so boring.” Jill looked up and Erin added, “If you don’t mind teaching me.”

Catching on, a lopsided smile formed on the blonde’s face and she said, “No, I wouldn’t teaching you at all. It would be kind of cool to have a…” She thought for a second. “Helper? I guess I could call it that. I can’t pay you or anything.”

“Oh no. That’s fine. I wasn’t expecting to be paid.”

“Erin!”

Both women jumped, heads turned in the direction of the shout.

“Ummm...that’s Phil. My husband,” Erin offered.

“Is he calling you from the front porch like a child?” Jillian asked with an eyebrow raised and mouth in a frown. At Erin’s expression of embarrassment, the mechanic sighed and put her hands over her face. “Arrgh! I apologize. That was a terrible thing to say.”

Erin reached up and pulled Jillian’s hands down. “No, it’s pretty accurate.” Her eyes looked sad even though she tried to smile. “I'll see you later?”

“Yeah, I'll see you.” Jillian watched her walk home.

=X=X=X=X=X=

The last of the school year couldn’t go by soon enough for Erin. She was excited to learn a new skill but even more excited to spend time getting to know Jillian better. When she had told Phil about her summer plans one morning over breakfast he looked at her like she was nuts.

“Why?” he had questioned, toast halfway to his mouth.

Erin shrugged nonchalantly. “Just something to do. It’s better than sitting here watching soap operas.” She added that last part in knowing his distaste for the programs.

“You have that right,” he muttered.

On the first day of summer break Erin found herself glancing out the kitchen window every few minutes hoping to see Jillian outside working. At 10:30 she saw her pulling a sedan onto two individual ramps. She tried not to look too enthusiastic but still practically sprinted across the yard.

Skidding to a stop in front of the blonde, Erin chirped, “Reporting for duty!”

Jillian laughed and then asked, “Sweetheart, you weren’t planning on working in that outfit, were you?”

Erin looked down at her pristine jeans and t-shirt. “What’s wrong with my outfit?” She was totally confused by the blonde’s amusement.

“Well, unless you plan on ruining it, I would wear something more...worn out.”

“I don’t keep clothes like that.” Erin was now worried she wouldn’t get to participate at all.

Jillian thought for a second. “Ah! Wait! You aren’t much taller than me. You could borrow some of my clothes.”

The thought of wearing the other woman’s clothes felt a little funny, but she didn’t really have another option. She followed Jillian to her bedroom where the blonde dug around in a box (she wasn’t fully unpacked still) and produced some faded, stained jeans and a Def Leppard shirt that had more than a few holes in it. Jillian pointed out the bathroom for her to change and when Erin emerged the mechanic grinned at her.

“You look like you’re ready to go to an 80s hair band concert.” 

Erin looked at her reflection in a nearby mirror and laughed. “Definitely not my usual attire.”

Jillian snatched a bandana from her dresser and, with a hand on her shoulder, turned Erin’s back to her. “Let me put your hair up. Don’t want this pretty red hair getting caught in anything.”

As Jill raked her fingers through her hair and gathered it into a ponytail, Erin was unable to repress a shiver. If Jillian noticed, she did not let on, which Erin was grateful for.

“Okay. First task today.” Jillian smiled at the childlike eagerness on Erin’s face. “Oil change.”

Erin’s eyes got wide. “That seems hard.”

“That’s what she said,” Jill retorted and Erin rolled her eyes. “No, it’s not that difficult.”

=X=X=X=X=X=

At noon, the women were having lunch, relaxing in deck chairs on the driveway eating a pizza they had ordered. Their break was interrupted by Phil’s car roaring down the street and whipping into the driveway next door.

“What is he doing home?” Erin mumbled. Jillian could hear the tenseness in her voice.

The two watched as he angrily marched across the yard towards them.

“Erin! You haven’t been answering your phone! Where is that report I told you to put in my bag this morning?”

Erin shrank back into the deck chair. “I put it in there.” Her voice was small.

“Well, I don’t see it!” He glared at her as she avoided eye contact. To Jillian she looked extremely uncomfortable.

“I put it in the front pocket.”

“The front pocket! That’s not where it goes!” He turned and stomped off without even acknowledging Jillian.

“Nice to meet you!” Jillian called after him with exaggerated cheerfulness. He glared at her over his shoulder before getting in the car and squealing out of driveway. “He seems like a cheerful fellow.”

She turned back to Erin who was slid down in her chair staring miserably at the plate of pizza in her lap. “Hey. Are you okay?” Jill asked in a soft voice.

Erin nodded without looking up. The blonde reached out and set a hand on her knee. Erin put hers on top and finally brought her eyes up. As they stared at one another Erin attempted to smile, but the unhappiness was clearly visible still. 

“I'll be okay,” she said. It sounded like a wish more than a fact.


	3. Erin's Realization

It was 10:30, but Erin wasn’t tired. She was too wound from the time she had spent with Jillian that day. As she and Phil lay in bed she chatted excitedly not caring that he stared at his tablet and only occasionally acknowledged her. 

“Oh yeah! And tomorrow she’s going to let me change the oil. She said she thinks I’m ready to do it on my own. I said I don’t kn-”

Phil suddenly interrupted her with a loud groan and eyeroll. 

Erin’s mouth snapped shut. When he gave her a hard look she squeaked, “What?”

“All I hear about is this Jillian woman.” The way he spit out her name didn’t escape his wife’s attention.

“Sorry.” Erin hated how meek her voice sounded as she toyed with the blanket hem nervously.

“I really don’t like her,” he grumbled.

Erin looked up in bewilderment. “But...but you don’t even know her.”

“I know enough,” he mumbled gruffly, turning his attention back to his tablet.

The statement only left her with questions but she knew better than to ask them. She had heard the finality in his tone. As he rambled on about some work happenings at the bank her mind wandered. She knew he didn’t have a reason to not like Jillian. It was just like him to talk down about things Erin enjoyed.

‘She makes me happy,’ she thought then her gaze moved to Phil. ‘And he doesn’t.’ 

The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. She wasn’t in love with Phil anymore; hell, maybe she never was. Was she in love with Jillian? She wasn’t totally sure. She had been attracted to her the first time they met, but had tried to ignore it that day and every day since. Erin knew that it could not be ignored forever. It was who she truly was and stifling it was doing nothing but hurting her.

“Are you even listening?” She focused her attention on Phil. “I swear, Erin, you can be such a space cadet sometimes,” he scoffed.

The insult felt like a literal punch to the gut and it took all of her willpower to not react. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. She stared back at him; expressionless.

“I’m going to invite her to the cookout on Saturday.” She surprised herself at how confidently she said it. She rarely, if ever, challenged him directly or indirectly.

When she tilted her chin up slightly and held his gaze, he narrowed his eyes and his lips turned up in a sneer. “Fine. Invite her.”

The fact he agreed so easily bothered her. Maybe her rash decision wasn’t the best idea. The only thing that assuaged her nerves was that there would be other people from the neighborhood present. Erin doubted he would make a scene in front of the others. He cared too much what people thought of him.

Even though she still wasn’t tired she slid down into the blankets and turned her back to Phil. Her thoughts drifted to Jillian. Jillian whose carefree attitude always put her at ease. Jillian whose sense of humor always made her laugh. Jillian whose smile left her weak in the knees. Jillian who gave her a flutter low in her belly. 

She couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face as she snuggled deeper into the blankets and drifted off thinking about the blonde.

=X=X=X=X=X=

It was just past lunch and Erin still had not worked up the courage to invite Jillian to the cookout. They were both currently up under a car with the blonde giving instructions on performing an oil change. As the oil drained into the pan Erin found herself staring blankly up into the underside of the car. A poke to her shoulder a minute later drew her attention.

“Hey. You awake over there?”Jillian asked with an amused smile. “The oil is done draining.”

“Yeah. Sorry. Just thinking.”

“About what?” Jillian screwed the drain plug back in. 

“We are having a cookout Saturday and I wanted to invite you.”

“Cool.” They both slid out from under the car. Jillian studied her for a second then squinted an eye at her. “Why do you seem nervous?”

Erin hesitated and then said, “I’m just worried Phil is going to show his ass.”

Jillian started to make a joke but she could tell her friend was genuinely distressed by the thought. She placed a hand on Erin’s shoulder. “I’m sure it’ll be okay. I would love to come. Do I need to bring anything?”

“Nah. Just you.”

“Okay, let’s get some fresh oil in this baby.” Jillian retrieved a 5 quart jug from a shelf and brought it over. She directed Erin to put a funnel in the fill hole then held out the jug.

Hoisting the full jug up and tilting it, Erin accidentally tipped it a little too far. The oil rapidly began to fill up the funnel.

“Whoa there! Hold your ponies.” Jillian leaned around her, one arm at her waist and the other grabbing the bottom end of the jug and tilting it more upright. She said more but Erin didn’t hear it. She was too focused on the feeling of the other woman’s arm around her and the proximity of their faces.

Erin turned her gaze to the side and found Jillian’s crystal blue eyes focused on her. She sucked in a breath more noisily than she meant to. The blonde smirked in response and her eyes slid down to Erin’s mouth then back up to her eyes.

“I think we have enough oil in there.” Jillian’s voice was barely above a whisper.

She withdrew her arm and Erin watched mutely as she capped the jug of oil and returned it to the garage.

“Hey, you want to go grab some lunch?”

The question pulled Erin out of her daze. “Um. Yeah. Sure. Sure. I’m hungry. Could eat a horse.”Realizing she was rambling she snapped her mouth shut while Jillian chuckled at her.

She asked if Burger King sounded good and Erin agreed. Ten minutes later they were rolling down the road with Jillian singing along to Kiss’s “Rock and Roll All Nite” at the top of her lungs with one arm hanging out the window tapping the drum beat on the side of the Challenger.

Erin felt content in the moment which was a fairly unfamiliar feeling. She looked at Jillian who glanced over and grinned. She slid down in her seat, eyes closed, savored the moment. She must have dozed off because she was startled by a hand patting her thigh.

“You awake over there?”

Erin blinked against the sunlight and straightened up. “Sorry. I was feeling so...relaxed...happy.”

Stopping at a red light, Jillian turned and eyed her inquisitively. “You say that like it's a foreign thing.”

Feeling exposed with the other woman's eyes searching hers, Erin switched her focus to the houses going by. “It is,” she said so faintly that Jillian didn't hear it.

They didn't talk the rest of the way although Jillian did continue singing albeit quieter. 

Pulling into the restaurant parking lot the blonde joked, “We have arrived at our destination. Please return your trays to their upright position and enjoy your stay.” She was pleased when Erin flashed a smile and rolled her eyes.

As they approached the counter Jillian said, “My treat” as she pulled her wallet from the pocket of her camouflage cargo shorts.

“Oh, Jill, you don't have to do that. I can...”

She cut Erin off with a dismissive wave. “No, I want to. Consider it payment for your help.”

The cashier called for the next customer and Jillian placed a hand on the small of Erin’s back and pushed her forward softly.

“I’d like to get a fish sandwich combo with nothing on it but cheese and Coke to drink.” When Erin stepped back she noticed Jill was giving her a funny look with a raised eyebrow. “What?”

“A fish sandwich with cheese?” Jillian teased.

“Yes, I happen to like cheese.” Erin crossed her arms and acted offended. The cashier snickered at their antics. “I’m going to go get a seat.”

She gathered some napkins, straws and ketchup packets then chose a booth in the back corner. After arranging the supplies with more care than they deserved Erin noted an elderly lady facing her in the next booth. The woman smiled and Erin nodded.

By the time Jillian arrived with the tray of food the woman, she found the two of them having a conversation about the local traffic. 

“Scoot,” Jill said. With her hip she bumped the redhead who seemed a bit surprised having assumed she would sit on the other side. Erin grabbed her items from the tray and tried to not think about how their legs were touching. 

“So I see you’ve made a new friend,” Jillian said with an elbow to the side.

“Ummm. Yeah. This is Estelle.”

“Nice to meet you, Estelle. Jillian.” 

Erin found it endearing when Jillian walked over and shook the lady’s hand. Estelle appeared thrilled to have someone new to converse with. She enthusiastically chatted about everything from grandchildren to her cats to the tomato plants in her garden. For her part Erin mostly listened and watched Jillian, who was earnestly into the conversation.

Briefly she thought she should be jealous of this person using her time with the blonde, but it afforded her an opportunity to subtly observe. Erin admired how Jillian could talk so easily to a perfect stranger.

Erin tuned back into the conversation as Jillian pointed a thumb her way. “...and this one here eats her fish sandwiches with cheese. Can you believe that?” Jillian laughed.

“Uh!” Erin tried to look insulted but she was smiling.

Estelle chuckled and offered, “I put ketchup on mine.”

“All right. You win.” Jillian shrugged then let her arm drop on the back of the booth behind Erin with her hand resting on the redhead’s shoulder.

Gathering her trash onto her tray, Estelle stood and said, “Well, I’ve taken up enough of you ladies’ time. Thank you for the wonderful conversation.”

“It was nice meeting you, Estelle,” Jillian replied. Erin murmured her agreement.

“Maybe I'll see you here again one day. I do love my Whoppers.” Estelle took a few steps before looking back over shoulder and adding, “Oh and you two are cute together.”

Erin's eyes went wide as she stiffened. Jillian laughed nervously beside her. They sat tense and frozen for a minute or two. Erin was pondering ways to break the tension when Jillian surprised her by pulling back her arm and standing. She gathered the trash and left to deposit it in the trashcan without a word. Erin followed.


	4. Cookout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for the cookout!

“Erin! Where are the steaks? I need to get them on the grill!” Phil shouted from the backyard.

Erin, who was in the kitchen preparing a large bowl of garden salad, let loose an annoyed growl. “Like you don’t have goddamn feet,” she muttered then adopted a faux cheery tone and called back, “Coming, honey.”

When she delivered the plate of steaks, Phil snatched it and groused, “About time.”

Erin rolled her eyes and went back to finish the salad, but was immediately interrupted by the doorbell ringing. She sighed at who it was when she answered it.

“Er!” Mark Reynolds exclaimed as he pulled Erin into a hug that felt more like a chance to touch her than anything else. Mark was a co-worker of Phil’s and Erin disliked him vehemently. Multiple times in the past he had gotten drunk at their house and become quite obnoxious typically with filthy jokes and innuendos that made Erin uncomfortable. She was not pleased, but unsurprised to see he had brought a box of beer. Phil, however, thought he was an awesome guy. 

“Here, babe. Can you put this on ice?” He held up the beer.

“Stick it in the fridge,” Erin replied and walked away from him. He either didn’t notice or didn’t care about her attitude towards him. She was pretty sure he had already had a few drinks before he arrived.

Mark deposited the beer in the fridge and came up behind Erin much too close for her comfort. 

“What are you making, Er?”

God, she hated when he called her that.

“Ummm...salad,” she said as if it was the stupidest question she had ever heard, which she was pretty sure it was. When he continued to linger in her personal space she pointedly stated, “Phil is outside.”

Thankfully Mark took the hint, muttered “cool” and went out the sliding glass door into the backyard.

When the doorbell rang a second time Erin hurried to open it, hoping it was Jillian. To her disappointment it was Derek and Rachel Clarke, a couple from down the street that were nice people, but Erin had zero in common with. She directed them towards the backyard and glanced at the clock on the wall. Fifteen minutes after the hour. Erin decided she couldn’t sit inside and wait any longer so she went outside to the backyard with the others.

At half past the hour, the gate creaked open and everyone turned to see who it was. A grin spread across Erin’s face when she saw Jillian slink in with a small wave. 

“Sorry for being late,” she apologized.

“No biggie. Just glad you’re here.” They smiled at each other until Erin noticed how long it had been and chuckled awkwardly. “Oh, oh yeah. I should introduce you. This is Mark Reynolds and Derek and Rachel Clarke.” She pointed to each of them. “And this is Jillian Holtzman. She lives next door.”

Murmured hellos and waves were exchanged before people returned to their prior conversations. Erin leaned and whispered into Jillian’s ear, “Watch out for Mark. He can be a drunken asshole.”

The blonde snickered and said, “Duly noted.” She looked towards Mark who was currently leering at her. He raised a can of beer in greeting and Jillian forced a tight smile in return. “Ugh. Looks like a real catch,” she said low enough so only Erin could hear her.

Once all the food was ready they gathered at the two pushed together picnic tables. Jillian sat at the far end of the bench and was relieved that Erin sat on her other side so that Mark couldn’t. The Clarkes sat across from Jillian and Erin with Rachel trying to make conversation. Her interests were very different from the other womens’, but it didn’t stop her from recounting her trials and tribulations of crocheting a large blanket. 

As Rachel rambled on and Erin acted interested, Jillian felt Erin's bare knee press against her own. The warmth of her skin was noticeable even during the balmy summer day. She glanced at the other woman but there was no sign if the contact was purposeful or not. She bounced her foot slightly and Erin quickly laid a stilling hand on her knee. Jillian froze at the contact, casting a furtive glance at her. Erin was letting on nothing, though; nodding her head to what Rachel was saying.

When the thumb on her knee began to stroke back and forth, Jillian sucked in a sharp breath loud enough that Rachel glanced at her as she tried to cover it with a cough. Erin halted her movement for a moment then began again. Jillian bit her bottom lip at the sensations running straight to her center.

Both her and Erin were so distracted that they simultaneously jumped when Phil loudly said Erin’s name.

“Wha-what?” Erin jerked her arm back, hitting it on the underside of the table.

Phil rolled his eyes in annoyance. “I said you should go ahead and clear the dishes.”

Erin looked around and realized everyone was finished eating. “Oh. Sorry. Sure.”

“Do you want some help?” Jillian asked, looking up at the redhead.

Before Erin could answer Phil cut in. “You’re our guest, Jillian. Why don’t you relax by the pool?”

He sounded like a courteous host but both women knew he was just being controlling. Not wanting to talk with anyone else at the table, Jillian excused herself and stretched out on a lounge chair. She closed her eyes, praying she gave off the air that she wanted to be alone.

Mark was either too drunk or too stupid to take the hint. She heard footsteps shuffle up next to her and then the neighboring lounge chair squeaked. She didn’t even crack open an eye but from the stink of alcohol she correctly deduced it was Mark.

“So whatcha do?” His words were quite slurred and Jillian wasn’t even sure what he had said at first.

“Mechanic.”

“Cool. Cool. Where at?” She heard him slurp some beer from a can.

“My house.” She was keeping her answers brief in hopes he would become bored and wander off.

“Any plans to open a garage?” He burped disgustingly.

“Maybe.”

He grumbled at her lack of participation.

“Hey, Mark! Why don’t you come help over here?” Phil called.

“Later,” Mark grunted without a hint of friendliness and she heard his footsteps retreat.

The next thing Jillian heard was Mark and Phil talking over by the grill. She wasn’t sure if they thought they were far enough away or they just didn’t care. What she heard, though, she did not like.

“I wouldn’t waste my time. I think she’s a dyke.”

“Really?” Mark sounded as if he didn’t quite believe it. “Yeah, I guess I can kind of see it. I’m surprised you let Erin hang out with her.”

“I did tell Erin that I don’t like her. I’m pretty sure she is still going over there every day, though.” Phil didn’t attempt to mask his annoyance. Jillian gritted her teeth, feeling her anger rising. 

“You better watch out. She might turn your woman gay,” Mark said.

Phil laughed as it was the craziest thing he had ever heard. “Erin isn’t a dyke. And, anyway, if somehow she did manage to seduce my wife I will have to remind Erin who is in charge.”

There was a something menacing about his words and Jillian leaped to her feet. She had heard more than enough. “You would what, Philly? What would you do?” she shouted as she rushed towards the two men.

Phil attempted to ignore her, but Jillian stood chest to chest with him, her face flushed a bright red. “Don’t you lay a hand on her,” she hissed so only he could hear her.

“Get out of my face, dyke,” he growled through clenched teeth.

She stepped back, throwing up her arms and becoming loud again. “Do you have a problem with me, Philip? Because if you do at least have the balls to say it to my face!”

The other guests all stared with various faces of shock at the scene unfolding. Hearing the commotion, Erin came out of the house and hurried towards the blonde and her husband.

“Jill…” Erin made a grab at Jillian’s wrist but it was jerked out of reach.

“No, Erin. Let's let Phil talk.”

“Get out of my yard!”

Jillian stared back at him for a minute before she suddenly turned to the others. “Well you all have a grand old time with Mr. Sunshine here. I am apparently being banished for not tolerating his bullshit.” She saluted and stomped towards her house.

“Jill! Jillian!” Erin shouted after her, but Jillian didn’t look back. Once the gate slammed behind her Erin turned back to her husband with a look of disbelief. “How could you?” she whispered. He stared back, unmoved.

She didn’t look at their guests as she ran into the house with tears in her eyes. She didn’t care what the others thought. She didn’t care about the stupid party, not without Jillian there. She retreated to the spare bedroom and fell onto the single bed with the old quilt that her grandmother had made. She buried her face in the pillow and let out all of the embarrassment, anger and frustration she felt.

At one point she heard someone come into the house, probably to use the bathroom, but no one checked on her. After crying for about an hour she fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. When she awoke it was dark outside and the house was silent. She got up and tiptoed down the hall. As she passed the main bedroom she was disgusted to see Phil sleeping soundly in their bed.

When she entered the darkened kitchen Erin could see the purple text message light blinking on her phone where it lay on the counter. She turned on a light over the sink and noticed the time was 11:30. She was not surprised to find that the texts were from Jillian, the first one sent not long after she left the party.

(5:30) Jill: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your party.  
(5:45) Jill: If you’re mad, I understand.

The text surprised Erin. Why would Jillian think she would be mad with her? Phil had acted like an asshole. Even though it was late Erin texted her back.

(11:35) Erin: No! Of course I’m not mad at you, Jillian. Why would you think that?

She was a bit surprised when a response immediately popped up.

(11:36) Jill: I’m glad to hear that. I was actually lying here awake...worrying.  
(11:37) Erin: Sorry I didn’t answer you sooner. I cried myself to sleep in the spare bedroom.  
(11:39) Jill: :-( I hate to hear that. Are you okay?  
(11:40) Erin: I’ll be fine. I’m sorry Phil is asshole.  
(11:45) Jill: It’s not your fault. Will I see you Monday?  
(11:46) Erin: Of course. I’ll be there.


	5. The Pool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Largest chapter so far (2385 words). This one took me a little while. It stayed in a rather patchy state for awhile before I could figure out what its purpose for existence even was.

Sunday went by without incident. As he had done many times before, Phil acted as if nothing had happened. Erin did her best to smile and pretend but it was easier to just avoid him. When Monday came Erin was excited yet nervous to see Jillian. She knew her fears were unfounded, though, when Jillian greeted her with a toothy smile.

Time passed in relative silence with Jillian working and Erin quietly watching from where she sat on a nearby table.

“You have something on your mind.” It wasn’t a question. Jillian glanced up at Erin.

“Why do you say that?” Erin feigned ignorance.

“Because you’re being strangely quiet. Can you pass me those spark plugs?” Jillian pointed to the box on the tabletop next to Erin. She hopped down and walked the item over to the blonde. “Is everything okay at home? Not that I’m trying to pry.”

“No, you’re fine.” Erin crossed her arms and sat lightly on the car’s bumper. “Things are..” There was a large pause. “Things are okay.”

“That didn’t sound very convincing.”

“I keep thinking about the cookout. I don’t understand what his problem is with you.”

Jillian snorted. “Maybe because he can tell I think he’s an ass.”

Erin looked up in amusement at her candor.

“I’m serious. I don’t see what you see in him.”

“Not much anymore.” It came out so faintly that Jillian wasn’t even sure she had heard it correctly, however she definitely heard the next statement. “Sometimes I think I made a mistake.” Erin considered for a moment about whether she wanted to say what she was really thinking before blurting out, “I don’t think I should have married a man.”

Jillian froze in the middle of tightening a bolt. It didn’t escape her attention that Erin said a man and not Phil in particular. It felt like it has been tossed out into the air to see if she would catch it. She didn’t look up as she asked slowly, “Do you think you’re gay?”

After a short hesitation, Erin breathed out, “Yes.” She seemed to get lost in thought for a moment before she nodded and repeated, “Yes. Yes.” Her eyes came up to meet Jillian’s.

“Am I the first person you’ve ever told?”

Another nod. Jillian was surprised when the other woman let loose an excited squeal and wrapped her in a tight hug. She was even more taken aback when Erin started crying.

“You alright?” Jillian questioned as she rocked them a bit and rubbed her friend’s back.

Erin nodded into the crook of her neck. “It just feels so good to actually say it.”

Even when her tears tapered off Erin didn’t pull away.

“You smell good,” she murmured into Jillian’s neck. “Like vanilla.”

“Body wash.” Jillian was a little embarrassed how her voice faltered as her body quivered at the feeling of warm breath on her neck.

‘I could stay like this forever,’ Erin thought with a dreamy smile.

“Ummm, hon, are you going to let me go? I have work to do,” Jillian said with a chuckle. When Erin pulled away she could swear that she was blushing slightly.

The redhead perched back on the table as Jillian continued replacing spark plugs. After about five minutes of silence Jillian said, “Can I ask you something?”

Erin nodded, playing with some screws from the table.

“Is this a new realization or something you've always known?”

After she thought for a few minutes Erin answered. “I think it was always true but I just didn’t understand. I never felt any interest in guys but I didn’t know what I was feeling towards girls. I thought I just preferred to be around them, but when I think about it now I know I had crushes on them.”

“I know how that is.” The remark gave Erin pause, but she continued.

“When I hit my teens I didn’t know anyone into girls. It just felt like it wasn’t something you did. It was like gay people weren’t real. That probably sounds silly now.”

“Not really. Everyone around you was with people of the opposite gender. It’s all you knew,” Jillian interjected.

“And later when I realized there were other people that felt like me I was too..” She searched for a word. “...afraid. The way gay people were talked about in my family was as if there was something wrong with them….like mentally.”

Erin noticed Jillian shook her head at that. “That thoroughly sucks. What about college? Surely there were some hot lesbians there,” she said with a wink.

“Oh there were.” Erin blushed at that admission and she saw Jillian smile. “But I was so far in the closet and looked so ridiculously straight that none of them even noticed me.”

“Their loss.”

It was yet another comment that made Erin want to ask the other woman the question in her mind that she would nag at her until she knew. 

“Can I ask you something...personal?” She wiped her sweaty palms on her shorts. She was nervous but she knew this was the perfect opportunity.

“Of course,” Jillian replied. Erin was glad when she continued fiddling with the car instead of turning her attention towards her.

“Are...ummm...are you...are you gay?”

Jillian ceased her work on the car, turning a steady gaze onto Erin. “Yes,” she answered simply.

The redhead sucked in a breath and swallowed. “C-cool,” she croaked out.

Jillian smirked. “Yes, it is quite cool.”

Erin’s curiosity made her feel bolder. “Ever been with a man?” she asked and then flinched. “I’m sorry. That was probably too personal.”

“No, you’re fine and no, I haven’t. Don't want to. Totally zero desire to. I'm one hundred percent only into the ladies.” She smiled at Erin who felt her face heat up as she looked away. Jillian shut the car hood and said, “Well I’m through for the day. Anything you want to do?”

“Pool?” Erin suggested since they hadn’t gotten to enjoy it at the disastrous cookout.  
“Oooooh!” Jillian’s blue eyes were huge. “Pooooool paaaaartyyyyyy!”

Erin laughed and hopped off the table. “Just get changed and come over. You can go through the gate.”

“Sure thing! “ Jillian disappeared excitedly into her house.

As Erin strolled back to hers she remembered the only bathing suit she had was a string bikini. She usually didn’t wear it in front of anyone and knew she would be self-conscious in front of the other woman. In the end she decided to wear shorts and a t-shirt over it.

She was stretched out on a lounge chair a few minutes later when she heard the creak of the gate. Turning her head, she saw Jillian slip into the backyard. She was wearing rainbow-striped board shorts and an oversized white tank top.

“That doesn’t look like a bathing suit to me,” Erin teased, looking over her sunglasses.

“It is. I could say the same about you. Do you have a bathing suit under there?”

Erin glanced down at her shorts and shirt. “Yes.”

“Why are you hiding? Let’s see,” Jillian coaxed. When Erin hesitated she added, “It’s just us girls” punctuated by a wink.

Erin acquiesced and pulled her shirt off followed by her shorts but didn't meet Jill's eyes at first. She looked down at her lavender with navy blue butterfly print bikini and crossed her arms, feeling incredibly unsure of herself.

Jillian stood there with her mouth open and eyes glazed over for a moment before she blinked to bring herself back to reality. She felt incredibly warm and it wasn’t from the summer sun beating down. “You look amazing,” she finally managed to say.

“Thanks.” Erin ducked her head shyly at the praise. She was clearly unaccustomed to compliments. The silence began to feel slightly awkward before Erin asked, “You want a drink? Lemonade?”

“Sure. That’s fine.” Jillian was thankful for the change of subject. She stretched out on one of the lounge chairs as Erin went to get the drinks. Placing both hands over her face, Jillian groaned. ‘God. How am I going to handle her in that bikini the whole time?’ she thought. ‘And if she gets in the water...oooh boy.’ She blew out a long breath.

Erin’s voice startled her out of her thoughts a few minutes later. “Alrighty. Here you go.” 

JIllian accepted the large glass of lemonade and took a sip with a small hum of approval.  
“Is it good? It’s homemade.”

“Definitely good. My compliments to the chef,” Jillian said. Erin snickered and rolled her eyes.

They lay in silence for a time, enjoying the sun. A few times Erin cracked open an eye and noticed Jillian sneaking looks at her. The attention gave her the confidence she was originally missing when she had decided to cover up and she decided to tease the blonde.

Erin stood and stretched, pleased to see she had the other woman’s undivided attention. She sauntered to the deep end of the pool and, with a look back at Jillian, dove in. The water was cold despite the warmth of the day and it momentarily shocked her system. After she had acclimated to the temperature, Erin swam a few laps. She noticed Jillian watching her the entire time.

“You going to come in?” Erin asked as she treaded water.

Jillian shook her head. “It looks like you have it under control.”

That was not the answer she was looking for. “Come on. Can you swim?”

“Yes.”

“Then get in the pool, silly.”

“I prefer to watch,” Jillian replied with a smirk.

Erin sighed, went to the edge and pulled herself out of the pool. Jillian unabashedly looked her up and down.

“Up, up.” Erin grabbed her wrists and pulled. Jillian made a show of resisting but allowed herself to be brought to her feet. “You like being difficult, don’t you?”

“It has its advantages.” 

Erin snorted and tugged her towards the pool. Jillian caught her off guard when she suddenly drew her arms back so that they ended up inches from one another.

“You like being bossy, don’t you?” Jillian said in a husky whisper, intensely holding Erin’s gaze.

The quick shift from playful flirting to sexually charged panicked Erin and in a kneejerk reaction she pushed Jillian away. The blonde stumbled back two steps then fell into the pool. Jillian popped back up from the cold water with a gasp. Erin stood at the side of the pool with a horrified expression.

“Oh my god, Jillian. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

Jillian wasn’t upset, though. “You’re going to wish you hadn’t done that,” she threatened jokingly.

She climbed out of the pool and trotted with squishing footfalls towards the redhead. Jillian halted, though, when Erin stared at her wide-eyed.

“What? What’s wrong?” Her hands were still in the air where they had been poised to shove Erin into the pool as payback. Jillian followed her line of sight realizing when she looked down her nipples had hardened from the cold water and were prominently visible through her white shirt.

Jillian’s eyes darted back to the other woman who met her gaze. Flushing a bright red, Erin stammered, “Ummmmmm. S-s-sorry. I didn’t mean to stare. I’ll...uhhhhh...I’ll go refresh our drinks.” She snatched the still mostly full glasses and bolted indoors.

Jillian finally dropped her hands at her side and looked around, blinking. “What the hell just happened?” she asked herself aloud. She stood there replaying it in her head and the more she did, the funnier she found it. 

Inside Erin was not finding the situation so amusing. Her back was leaned against the kitchen counter and her face was in her hands as she took deep breaths to try and calm herself down.

‘That could not have been more embarrassing,’ she thought to herself.

Her feelings for Jillian were getting harder and harder to keep a lid on. She wanted her, plain and simple and sometimes she thought Jillian felt the same. Erin knew she would have to talk to her about it soon. Maybe she was procrastinating, but now didn’t feel like the right time. 

Erin took a deep breath, grabbed the glasses of lemonade and went back outside. She didn't think she had been inside very long but she must have been because Jillian had apparently run home and changed. She now sat on the edge of the pool with her feet dangling into the water and was wearing a black t-shirt. She absently moved her feet in circles, watching the ripples they made on the surface. When Erin sat on the edge next to her, Jillian looked up, accepting the drink that was offered.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. I don't know what I was thinking wearing a white shirt.”

“No, no. I'm sorry for staring.”

“I can understand. The girls are rather nice.”

Erin was in the process of taking a sip of her drink and choked on it with a sputter before breaking into a coughing fit. 

“Oh shit. Ooops. I’m sorry,” Jillian chuckled as she patted her on the back.

Once Erin had regained her breath Jillian pulled back her arm but not before letting her hand slide down Erin’s bare arm. She saw the redhead shiver slightly.

The next hour was spent mostly making small talk. The awkwardness of earlier seemed to have put a slight damper on things and Erin was glad when Jillian spent most of the time chatting about her long-term goal of opening her own garage.

After draining the last of her lemonade Erin got up and checked her phone on a nearby table.

“He’ll be home soon,” she said quietly. The disappointment in her voice was unmistakable.

Jillian looked back at her then nodded. She stood and walked over to stand in front of Erin and they stared at one another for a moment. Erin licked her lips, pulling the bottom one between her teeth. She noticed Jillian watching the action.

For a moment she thought Jillian was going to kiss her but then she simply said, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you.”

Erin watched her cross the yard and give her a long look before leaving through the gate with a small wave.


	6. Erin's Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW sexytimes!

The next day was a gray rainy day so Jillian suggested that they just have a relaxation day. Erin was anything but relaxed. She had laid awake most of the night mulling over things with Jillian. She knew she had to tell her. This wasn’t going away. It was only growing stronger.

Seated side by side in rocking chairs on Jill’s front porch she studied the other woman who had slid down in her chair with her ankles crossed on the railing in front of her and eyes closed. She had said earlier that the sound of rain always made her sleepy.

Since they weren’t working today Jillian was dressed nicer than the usual t-shirts and shorts she wore. Erin took the opportunity to admire her with an appreciative eye while the other woman seemed to be asleep. She found the outfit of wingtips, linen pants and a vest over a button-up shirt and tie to be quite sexy.

“I can feel you staring at me,” Jillian said without opening an eye.

“Huh? No, no, no. I’m not staring,” Erin stammered, startled at being caught.

“Then why do you sound so guilty?” 

When Erin didn’t answer, Jill opened her eyes and realized her friend was distressed, eyes filling with tears. “What's wrong?” She pulled her feet down from the railing and leaned forward, reaching across the space between them. “You know you can tell me.”

Jillian was surprised when Erin flinched away from her and stood so quickly that the rocking chair snapped back, hitting the wall behind it. She walked the few steps to the railing and stared out into the rain-soaked yard with crossed arms. After several tense minutes of silence Erin finally spoke with difficulty due to the lump forming in her throat.

“I need to tell you something. It might end our friendship, but I can’t keep it to myself anymore.” 

Jillian rose and stood by Erin who continued to stare straight ahead. She leaned forward trying to catch the woman’s eye. “Erin? You’re scaring me.” There was a quiver to her voice.

The pause before she finally spoke seemed like forever. Jillian could feel her stomach tying itself into knots and she shook off a wave of panic-induced nausea.

“I have feelings for you, Jill.” She paused and then the rest emerged in a rush. “Romantic feelings….sexual feelings. I am so attracted to you.” She placed her palms on the railing and leaned forward, shoulders sagging as if the confession had exhausted her.

“So what does this mean?” Jillian asked softly after a moment.

Erin turned her head and hesitantly brought her eyes up to the blonde’s. 

“What do you want, Erin?” Jillian leaned close and whispered, “Because I know what I want.”

Jillian stepped back and held out her hand. Erin’s eyes flicked from the hand to the blue eyes waiting for an answer. In an instant the internal battle stilled and her decision was made. She reached out and put her trembling hand in Jillian’s. When she did so a smile spread across the woman’s face and she tugged Erin towards the front door.

Once inside Jill closed the door and turned to Erin who stood wide-eyed and tense with anticipation. She wanted this but had never been one to take the reins. She licked her lips nervously as Jillian made her way towards her staring intently.

Once she was within inches of her Jill looked up at the slightly taller woman searching for any sign of a change of heart. Seeing no such thing, she caressed one side of Erin’s neck and trailed featherlight kisses up and down the other. Erin’s head fell back with a long low moan. As Jill worked her way from one side to the other, the redhead felt herself becoming lightheaded as her blood rushed to her lower extremities. Thankfully Jillian sensed it and gently pushed her back with her body until Erin was pressed against the wall.

When their lips met they both moaned into the other’s mouth. It was needy and passionate. Hands alternately grasping and stroking. Erin pulled Jillian’s shirt from her waistband and ran her hands up the warm smooth skin of her back. Jillian’s tongue entered her mouth and the same hands’ nails dug in which elicited a groan that was equal parts pleasure and pain.

They eventually made their way to the bedroom where Jillian sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Erin down so she straddled the blonde’s lap.

As they kissed hungrily Erin attempted to loosen Jillian’s tie before growling in frustration. “You’re wearing too many clothes,” she grumbled.

Jillian took the tie from her hands, undid the knot and tossed it aside. “Is that so?” She smirked and raised an eyebrow.

“Definitely,” Erin answered as she worked on the vest buttons. 

Jillian smiled then nipped at her neck. Erin had never understood why anyone would enjoy being bitten until the moment that the blonde’s teeth pinched a bit of tender flesh. It hurt for a fraction of a second but then a feeling akin to electricity shot through her as she gasped.

“Don’t leave a mark,” she breathed through the haze of arousal although it was rapidly becoming harder to think clearly.

Jillian hummed in understanding and switched to kisses and long strokes of her tongue up and down the column of her neck.

Erin had just gotten the vest unbuttoned when Jillian twisted to one side and deposited her onto the bed. The redhead let out a yelp of surprise which made Jillian chuckle as she stood. “Let’s fast forward a little,” she said tossing her vest aside and unbuttoning her shirt.

Their eyes never left one another as they hurriedly rid themselves of their clothes.

As Jillian crawled across the bed towards her, Erin shivered at the stark lust in her eyes. Their naked bodies slid together for the first time and it felt like hot lava pouring over her, enveloping her. Erin thought she had been aroused before but this was on a level like no other she had ever felt.

There were so many sensations at once that it was dizzying. The warmth of skin on skin. The press of hips. Battling tongues. Soft breasts. Fingers exploring.

Jillian’s hand slipped between them and she brushed Erin’s clit, receiving a sharp gasp in return.

“Sensitive?”

“Yeah,” Erin replied breathily.

“Okay. We’ll come back to that.” Jillian slid a finger further through the wetness and paused at her entrance. She looked up at Erin to see if she minded penetration and the redhead pushed impatiently against her hand.

Jillian felt Erin’s fingernails dig into her shoulders as she pushed in slowly but steadily. She knew she would have marks tomorrow, but she didn’t mind. 

“More,” Erin begged and Jill obliged by adding a second finger and turning her attention to Erin’s breasts. 

Jillian didn’t get much a reaction from light licks but when she sucked a little harder she was pleased at how Erin moaned and placed a hand on the back of head and held her there. 

Between what Jillian’s hand and what her mouth were doing, Erin felt the pressure build up inside. Unfortunately as soon as she thought about it the feeling receded. Eyes closed tightly, she attempted to chase down her release, but the more she tried, the further away it got.

Jillian heard when Erin’s breathing went from steady panting to a frustrated sigh. As she watched, Erin’s brow furrowed and a frown creased her face.

“Something wrong?” Jillian asked as she stilled her hand.

Erin opened her eyes and realized that Jillian was staring at her with an expression of concern. She stammered, “No, no. Everything’s fine.” 

Jillian tilted her head to one side and shot her a look that said she didn’t believe her for a second.

Erin sighed. “I’m a terrible liar, aren’t I?”

Jillian chuckled. “Yeah. You really are. A sexy liar, but not a convincing one.”

Erin hoped that Jillian would drop it but she stared, obviously waiting for an answer. Erin felt her anxiety rising. She wasn't comfortable asking for what she wanted in bed. She had always just accepted what she was given and bit back the disappointment.

“If you’re worried about making me mad I can guarantee that you won’t. I’m doing this for you, babe. You can tell me what you want. Believe me, I’ll tell you what I want,” she said with a wink.

Erin swallowed, gathering her courage, and mumbled vaguely, “I just kind of lost it.”

“Ah. Happens. Anything in particular you want?” 

Courage spent, she diverted her eyes and shrugged. Jillian was surprised when the redhead suddenly teared up.

“What’s wrong, honey?” Completely confused by the shift in mood, Jillian rolled off Erin and pulled her into her arms. She made shushing sounds as she stroked Erin’s hair.

After a few minutes her tears ended and Erin said barely above a whisper, “I honestly don’t know what works for me. I’m just not used to anyone caring about what I need in bed.”

Jillian’s heart ached at the confession. She didn’t want to pressure Erin if she was uncomfortable. “Do you not want to--,” she started.

“No, I want to.” The words were slightly muffled. “Phil always told me to hush if I tried to tell him anything.”

Erin felt Jillian stiffen and shake her head. “Fucking asshole,” the blonde growled. She held Erin a little tighter and the other woman responded by nuzzling into her neck.

Jillian’s voice broke into the silence after a few minutes. “I'm sorry.”

Erin gave the blonde a look of confusion. “What are you sorry for? You didn't do anything wrong.”

“I'm sorry that that's how it's been until now. You deserve better.”

Erin’s breath hitched at the warmth in the beautiful blue eyes that were gazing into hers.

“I don’t want it to be that way. Let yourself enjoy it. Tell me what feels good. Tell me what doesn't. I want to rock your world, honey. Don't be embarrassed to speak up. We can figure it out together.” She hesitated for a moment then said, “I love you, Erin" and her voice cracked with emotion.

Jillian was amused at the dumbfounded expression that crossed Erin's face before it was replaced with a large grin.

“I love you, too, Jillian.”

Jillian pressed a kiss to her lips and Erin melted into it. They were slower this time. They took time to savor every touch and kiss. 

Jillian shifted to straddle Erin’s leg and pressed a thigh against her center. The redhead gasped and her hips instinctively pushed back in response. Jillian smiled down at her as they found a rhythm. 

As they grinded against each other, Erin felt more connected to Jillian than anyone in her life. This wasn’t a one-sided experience, but a shared one. Each seeking their own release, but helping the other find theirs, too.

The power of Erin’s orgasm shocked her when it hit suddenly and she cried out loudly as she clutched Jillian to herself. She was so swept away by the waves of pleasure that she didn’t even realize until she was coming back down that Jillian had orgasmed, too.

They lay entangled and panting; exhausted but satisfied. 

“Good girl,” Jillian whispered in her ear and they were the sweetest words Erin had ever heard.  
Overcome with emotion, Erin realized tears were streaming down her face. She had never cried happy tears after sex, but, then again she had never experienced sex this good before. Jillian kissed her tenderly then nuzzled into her neck with a contented sigh.

After a few minutes Erin felt sleep settling over her like a heavy blanket and shook her head to try and fend it off.

Jillian noticed and commented gently, “No, it's okay, baby. Go ahead and take a nap.”

The last thing she saw as she drifted off was Jillian place a kiss to her forehead.

=X=X=X=X=X=

Erin was pulled out of a contented slumber by Jillian’s voice, deeper from lack of use.

“Honey. Erin, honey. It's 3 o’clock.”

It was the time that she usually left each day.

Jillian’s hand absently glided over Erin's skin as if she was committing every curve to memory. There was a reverence to her unhurried movements. 

Erin groaned in protest from where she was nestled in the blonde’s arms. Reality was pushing its way into her peaceful bubble. She propped herself on one elbow, giving her lover a pout.

“I don't want to go.”

“I know, sweetheart.” Jillian placed a hand on her cheek and Erin leaned in for a tender kiss. “I don’t want you to go, either.”

Reluctantly Erin rose from the bed and gathered up her scattered clothes. Jillian opted to grab some sweatpants and a t-shirt instead of the fancier outfit she had been wearing. They dressed quietly. It wasn’t an air of regret, but the forlorn longing of lovers separated even if only for a short time.

At the front door Erin paused with her hand on the doorknob before she turned suddenly and pulled Jillian into an ardent kiss that she hoped conveyed everything that hadn’t been said yet.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Erin said as she stepped away and opened the front door. 

“Tomorrow,” Jillian repeated.

And then she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew. This chapter was a beast for me. A lot of times I knew what I wanted to say, but not how to say it. I have never written any sex scene so I hope it came out okay.


	7. The News and The Stand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bit of a warning. There's some homophobic language and a tad of violence in here.

Over the next week Erin and Jillian had a hard time getting much work done due in no small part to the fact they could barely keep their hands off of one another. It was for that very reason that the sun had set but Jillian found herself under the hood of a car. The owner was coming in the morning to pick it up so it had to be ready. She had planned to be done earlier that day but Erin had distracted her.

‘And oh what a glorious distraction it was,’ Jillian thought to herself with a smile on her lips as she thought about their earlier romp on the hood of the Challenger. She still couldn’t believe that had happened.

She heard a car pull into the driveway next door and when she looked up she saw it was Phil. They made eye contact and he cast a glare in Jillian’s direction. In response she smiled and waved as if he was her best friend in the whole world. ‘Kill him with kindness,’ she thought.

Phil didn’t return the gesture and his scowl grew before he turned and stormed away.

“Jackass,” she murmured with a shake of her head and turned her attention back to the ignition wires she was replacing.

“Hey Erin! I have some news!” Phil shouted as he came through the front door.

He was so loud that Erin heard him over the vacuum she was using in the bedroom. She switched it off and went into the living room, curious because Phil usually didn’t come home from the bank happy. 

“What? What is it?” Even though he was smiling she was nervous. 

“We’re going to be moving! I got a job running a branch in Savannah, Georgia.” 

Erin felt her stomach drop and the color drain from her face. “Georgia? That’s a long ways from New York. You didn’t even tell me you applied!” She couldn’t help quiver in her voice.

“I thought you would be happy,” he said, the smile dropping from his face. He was clearly annoyed. “Is this about the neighbor? You'll make new friends.” His tone was condescending like a parent talking to a child who didn’t want to switch schools.

“No, no. It’s not about that.” His stare was intense and she became uncomfortable. It felt as if he could read her mind. She needed to escape. “I need to finish the vacuuming.”

Erin hurried from the living room, praying he wouldn’t follow her. No such luck. He was right on her heels.

“Don’t lie to me, Erin! That is what this is about!” When she reached for the vacuum handle, he snatched it from her. “Don’t you dare! I’m talking to you!”

She swallowed hard, eyes darting up to his then to the floor when she saw the anger in them.

“I don’t know what has gotten into you, but I don’t like it. Ever since you’ve been hanging out with that woman you don’t seem to know your place anymore.”

At those words, Erin clenched her jaw so tightly that it ached. It was an action that Phil didn’t miss.

“Do you have something to say, Erin,” he taunted.

She sucked in a deep breath through her nose. “No,” she gritted out.

He slung the vacuum cleaner handle back with so much force it hit the floor. “There you go. You can get back to work.” 

When he left Erin quietly closed the bedroom door then her shoulders sagged and shook with small sobs. She could hear news playing on the living room TV but she didn’t want to take the chance that he might hear her. He would get too much pleasure from upsetting her and she didn’t want to give him that satisfaction. She sank onto the edge of the bed, head in her hands.

“No, no, no,” she murmured to the empty room. “I don’t want to go. I can’t go.”

Erin sat there for some time thinking over the possibilities. She wanted to talk to Jillian, but she knew now wasn’t the time. She would have to wait until tomorrow. They hadn’t discussed their future at all. What they had was still so new. They were firmly planted in the now. There had been no rush, but Phil’s announcement changed everything. Their future now had an expiration date.

She noticed the time on her watch and sighed. The roast she had started earlier for dinner would be done soon. She checked herself in the bathroom mirror before going to the kitchen.

Usually Erin found cooking to be therapeutic. It helped clear her head, but as she stirred a pot of peas on the stove her mind was busier than ever. The thought of moving to an unfamiliar place with Phil turned her stomach. She knew she didn’t want to go to Savannah, to be stuck there when the inevitable happened and they separated.

A noise from outside distracted Erin from her anxious thoughts. She turned the heat down on the stove and walked over to the window that faced towards Jillian’s house. She smiled fondly when she saw the blonde hunched over the open hood of a car. Damn, she wanted to be in her arms so badly.

“How much longer?”

Erin swiftly spun away from the window and prayed she didn’t look as guilty as she felt.

“Just a few minutes,” she replied, aware that her voice betrayed her with a tremor.

As Erin turned back to the stove to check on the roast in the oven she saw Phil look out the window. Her stomach knotted when he eyed her with suspicion, but he said nothing and sat at the kitchen table.

She could feel Phil’s piercing gaze on her back and a stab of panic fluttered in her gut. She felt as if she has a scarlet A on her chest.

‘No, don’t be silly,’ she thought as she sliced the roast. ‘Pull it together, Erin. Deep breath.’

She placed the tray of sliced meat on the table and tried to not be intimidated by the stare Phil gave her. For once, she wished he had his tablet at the dinner table. Other than when Phil told a disparaging story about a coworker, meal time was one extended tense silence. It was a relief when he went back to watching tv as she cleaned up the dishes.

=X=X=X=X=X=

The next morning Jillian could instantly tell something was wrong when Erin approached with red-rimmed eyes and a splotchy face.

“What happened? Why have you been crying?” She set down the tool in her hand and quickly walked towards Erin. “Did he hurt you?” Anger flashed on her face with the last question. She had heard him yelling last night after he got home.

Erin shook her head and took a deep steadying breath but her voice still shook. “Phil got a transfer.”

The anger was gone in an instant. Jillian fell silent, swallowed, then asked, “To where?” 

“Savannah, Georgia.”

Jillian’s mouth fell open slightly and she stared in wide-eyed shock. She snapped out of her daze when Erin began sobbing. 

“Hey. Hey. Come here, baby.” She wrapped the redhead in a tight hug. “It will be okay. It will work out.” She said it but she wasn’t sure how it would.

After ten minutes, Erin finally ran out of tears. She leaned back and said, “I don’t want to go.”

“I know.” The sadness on the blonde’s face broke Erin’s heart.

“No, I really mean I don’t want to go and I’m not,” Erin said more firmly. “I’m staying. I’m leaving Phil and I’ll get an apartment or something.”

Jillian furrowed her brow and tilted her head, processing what she had just heard.

“Is this serious? I don’t want to assume anything,” Erin said, “but I know for sure that I don’t want to leave with him.” Her voice was small and hesitant.

“This? Us?” She gestured between them.

Erin nodded. A tiny voice in the back of her head was terrified Jillian would say it was only sex, but she knew it was her anxiety talking.

“It is to me.” The sincerity in Jillian’s eyes eliminated all doubt in an instant. “ I meant it when I told you that I love you. I’ve never felt as much for anyone as I do for you.”

“Me, too. And if this is serious I want to stay here,” she looked up at Jillian, “with you.”

Erin was taken off guard when Jillian yanked her into a passionate kiss right there in the driveway. Before now Erin would have freaked out about the neighbors seeing, but they were the furthest thing from her mind.

“Nothing would make me happier,” Jillian said when they pulled apart. “And you don’t have to get an apartment. You can live with me.”

“Really?” Erin was stunned at the offer.

“Of course! Not that I want to pressure you or anything. If you need some space of your own for a little while I would understand.”

“No, no. That would be great.” She sighed nervously. “Now I just have to tell him.” 

“Do you want me to be there?” her girlfriend offered.

“No, that would probably make him react worse. Will you be home tonight in case I need you?”

“Yes, honey. I’ll be home.” She took Erin’s hands in hers. “I don’t care what time it is if you need me.”

=X=X=X=X=X=

That night as Erin emptied the dryer Phil leaned in the laundry room doorway, tablet in hand, and rambled about the houses in Savannah that he was considering.

“It’s perfect this happened in the summer so you can get a job down there before the new school year starts.”

Erin didn’t reply as she folded the freshly dried shirts. She had to tell him. She was not going to let this drag on any longer.

Phil reached around her and put the tablet in her face. “Look at this house. What do you think of this one?”

She paused mid-fold on a shirt.

She bit the bullet. 

“I’m not going,” she said without emotion even though inside she was shaking.

The arm was pulled back. “Excuse me?” His tone dared her to say it again.

“I said I’m not going. I’m leaving you, Phil.”

As she turned towards him the tablet crashed against the wall beside her and shattered. Opening her eyes all she saw was Phil’s blood red face in front of her. She had never seen him this enraged and she felt a fear of him that she had never felt before.

“This is about that bitch next door isn’t it?” he screamed in her face. She actually felt some spit hit her as he spoke. “I had a feeling something was going on! Are you fucking her, Erin? You’re fucking her, aren’t you? Are you a goddamned dyke now?”

“I’ve always been one!” she shouted back, fists balled at her sides.

That seemed to take him aback for a second before the anger took over again. In an instant he slapped her across the face with a loud smack. In all of their years together he had never once hit her. She gaped at him, speechless, with a hand over her burning cheek.

“Get out! Get out of my fucking house!” he seethed. She took a step back and he roared again, “Get out!”

Erin turned and fled, grabbing her purse off the bar as she passed. Phil continued to yell abuse behind her as she ran through the front door and out into the yard. As she pounded on Jillian’s door, she could see Phil standing in the front doorway still shouting.

Jillian opened the door and was sickened to see Erin with a handprint on her cheek. 

“He hit you?” She didn’t wait for an answer, though, when she heard Phil shout across the yard.

“You can keep her!”

Jillian saw red and pushed past Erin into her yard. “Fuck you, Phil, you abusive son of a bitch!”

“No, fuck you, dyke!” 

“Jillian, please, come on. Don't do this.” Erin had her by the arm and was pulling her back towards the house. Jillian started to jerk away but saw the desperation in Erin's eyes. Erin needed her. It calmed her down a few notches.

“Okay. Okay,” she said as she allowed herself to be led back inside.

“As you can guess I told him,” Erin said dryly as she dropped onto the living room couch. Hearing no response, she looked at Jillian.

The woman had her back pressed against the closed front door with wide eyes and was trembling slightly.

“Jill? Jillian?” Erin walked over to the blonde and took one of her shaking hands.

“Just not used to confrontations like that.” She sounded a little out of breath.

“I understand. It can be nerve-wracking.”

Jillian, with tears in her eyes, reached up and touched Erin’s cheek lightly. “Damn. Let’s get you some ice for that.”

She took a few cubes from the freezer, placed them in a plastic baggie and wrapped it in a clean dish rag.

“I can’t believe that son of a bitch hit you,” she said as she passed the ice to Erin.

“Believe me, I was shocked, too. He also threw his tablet at the wall.” The burning in her skin eased a little as she pressed the ice to it gingerly.

“Damn. You don’t need to go back over there. You’re staying here.”

Erin nodded in agreement.

Jillian yawned loudly. The clock on the wall said 11:30.

“Sorry. Crashing from that adrenaline rush,” she said through a second yawn.

“Come on. Let’s go to bed.”

The blonde, too exhausted to argue, went willingly when Erin took her hand and led her to the bedroom. 

It didn’t take Jillian long to fall asleep with Erin in her arms. 

It was still dark outside when Jillian awoke and noted Erin wasn’t next to her any longer. She pushed back the covers and made her way down the hall. She could hear soft crying from the living room.

Erin was on the couch with knees pulled up and arms wrapped around her legs. She gently rocked as if trying to soothe herself but it did not appear to be helping much.

Jillian’s heart ached for the redhead as she crossed the room and sat beside her. Wordlessly, she pulled Erin into a hug and the woman sagged into the embrace.

“I'm a cheating piece of shit.” When the words left Erin’s mouth her sobs intensified.

“Don't call yourself that, baby.”

“But I did! I cheated! I haven’t slept. I can’t sleep. I keep thinking about it.” 

Exhaustion and the emotional events of earlier had left her on the edge of hysteria which worried Jillian. She grabbed hold of Erin’s shoulders.

“Hey, hey. Look at me, Erin. You didn't do it alone. I'm sorry I gave in, too. I share in the blame for putting you in this situation. We probably should have went about things in a better way, but it happened. We can't undo it.”

Erin's eyes dropped as she processed what had been said. She knew Jillian was right. After a few moments, she whispered, “I wasted so many years.”

Jillian understood how it could feel that way, but she encouraged, “Don’t think like that, honey. It may not have been a happy life, but you’re closing the door on it and we are going to make a happier one together.”

Erin gazed up at her through tears and a small smile formed.

Her girlfriend stood. “Come on, babe. Let’s go back to bed.”

Wearily Erin nodded and followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled mightily with this chapter. Originally it was going to be two different ones and then I realized I just didn't have enough so I combined them hence why the story is now eight chapters instead of nine.
> 
> And, yes, I did attempt to write that "romp on the hood of the Challenger" but I never could get it to my liking. In the end I just alluded to it, although I did keep a copy of what little I wrote. Maybe one day it will show up again.


End file.
